PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION

TARGET POINTS BE AWARE: YOUR CHILDREN ARE FAIR GAME

Child abuse in the Sunday school room? Den mothers assaulting children? It sounds unbelievable, yet increasingly church congregations are becoming favorite targets of child molesters along with other places children cluster. Churches and other organizations often don't understand the necessity of thoroughly screening new members who volunteer to help with children.

In 1981, a six-year-old girl left the sanctuary of a downtown Minneapolis church to go to the restroom. She was abducted and murdered. Because of the incident, the security has been tighter; most doors are locked during church functions; people are more observant of those around them; parents are more aware of where their children are at all times; preschoolers are warned not to go with strangers.

Recently, well-publicized cases of molestation have involved clergy, day care workers, teachers and leaders of clubs for children. Parents are beginning to wonder who they can trust. More and more pastors and parishioners are becoming trained to recognize the child molester's tactics. Other groups can help decrease the chances of becoming "hunting grounds" for child molesters by following the church examples.

SECURITY STEPS
Educate participants or the congregation so they can understand and deal with difficult issues that are frequently shrouded in silence. Acknowledge that the crimes of incest, molestation and family violence do occur in "nice" towns and all congregations. Talk about the reality and rob a potential molester of his most powerful weapon - silence.

Direct education specifically to parents. Encourage them to take their child to the bathroom or their Sunday school class rather than just sending them. Remind them, that while your group is doing all it can to make itself a place of safety for children, they also should be watching for suspicious situations.

Anyone who is going to work with children should be screened. Ask for a list of those who have known them a long time, (more than 5 years) family and other churches or groups they have served in a similar capacity. Be honest about your reasons for asking. Those who are really concerned about children's safety and wellness will support across the board screening.

Implement smart policy. For example, have more than one teacher in a room, more than one leader for a group. Discourage anyone but parents from dropping off and picking up children. Ushers should keep track of who leaves the sanctuary during worship.

Gina Halvorson, director of children's ministries at safety-conscious Scottsdale Bible Church, Scottsdale, Arizona, says they protect the children in their nurseries by using "child-safe tags". As the parent signs the child into the nursery, he is given a tag with a number on it. The child has the same number pinned to his clothing. To pick up a child the adult must show the tag.

Teach children about "good touches" and "bad touches." Many religiously-oriented persons are concerned about public education handling these matters. Take the initiative and teach the children while affirming the importance of love and trust in a family and stressing that sexual abuse is not the norm.

Ivan Berickman, who has spoken to many churches and PTA's on the subject of child sexual abuse, says, "Constantly warning children about the dangers can make them overly fearful. Let adults be fearful for them. There's reason to fear. "After speaking to PTA groups, no matter how remote the school district, a principal or superintendent always came to me afterward and said 'We had to dismiss a certain man for this reason...' In most cases they didn't charge the man. He just moved on. This happens in many churches, too. Offenders are not charged, and they move on and abuse again."

WHEN IT DOES HAPPEN
When a case of sexual abuse is discovered in a closely knit group such as a child's club or church, it can easily destroy the roots of unity and community. Regardless of the difficulties, confrontation is not enough to stop abuse. When confronted but not charged, abusers simply go on to the next organization and another child.

The abuse can only be stopped by reporting and therapy. This can be especially difficult when a family is dependent on the abuser for income. Be prepared to help the family. In addition to feeling isolated they may experience the actual loss of their home, divorce, and severe emotional problems.

By working together those who have chosen to become pan of a small community in church, service clubs, etc. can help make that community a safer place for children.

Much of this article contains materials reprinted with permission from the Jan./Feb. 1989 issue of Ministries Today Magazine. The rest has been compiled from other sources.